Humans have a tendency to feel attachment right from the time we are born. According to attachment theory, everyone has a different attachment style on which they base all their relationships. This means how secure they feel when they are in a relationship, and the fearful-avoidant attachment style is one of the four attachment styles.
Most people don’t have any control over their attachment style it’s something that you develop during childhood. So, if you have a fearful avoidant attachment style, it can be really difficult to deal with for you and your partner. But don’t you worry, you are not alone!
Today in this article, we are going to discuss all the aspects of having a fearful avoidant attachment style, how it affects your relationship, and also how to cope with this. So let’s get started!
What Causes a Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style?
There can be many factors that can lead to causing a fearful avoidant attachment style. However, most of them will be related to your childhood experiences and the relationship you shared with your caregivers or Parents. So, if your emotional needs were not fulfilled as a child, you are more likely to develop a fearful avoidant attachment style.
Moreover, if you went through any trauma as a child and didn’t feel secure with your caregivers, this can also be a major reason for your attachment issues. Many researchers believe that any traumatic event from your childhood can make you develop trust issues. Making it hard for you to trust anyone around you.
Furthermore, all these get registered in your subconscious. However, even if you have healed from a traumatic event. It can still have an impact on your attachment style and develop major trust issues.
Thus, if your childhood had a rough childhood and unsupportive caregivers, it can lead you to have an insecure attachment style. Moreover, If your parents were not there for you and you were separated from them for any reason.
4 Adverse Effects on Relationships
Having a fearful avoidant attachment style can be really hard to cope with, and it can impact your relationships. Moreover, people who are in a relationship with these individuals also face the consequences. It can impact your relationship in various ways such as:
1. They can be Unpredictable
People with insecure or fearful attachment style goes through a mix of emotions and can be extremely unpredictable. Even in a healthy relationship whenever their insecurity kicks in they can react in any which way. This behavior over a longer period of time can really have a negative impact on your relationship.
2. Trust Issues
If you have a fearful avoidant attachment style it’s common to have trust issues. No matter how much your partner tries but you will find it difficult to trust them. Moreover, there is not much you can do about it as these trust issues are linked to your childhood. This can make your partner feel suffocated and frustrated. Which can majorly affect your relationship.
3. The Silent Treatment
People with a fearful avoidant attachment style find it difficult to express their emotions and feeling. So whenever they are in a relationship they feel pressurise and thus, they often shut down their emotions. This is why there is a silent treatment as they find it draining to express how they are feeling.
4. They can be Bossy
This is a common coping mechanism for people with insecurity and fearful avoidant attachment style. Because they think they can control the situation by being bossy. As mentioned above that they are unpredictable and thus, sometimes they can be dominating as well.
How to Cope with a Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style?
Now that we know that this attachment style can really impact your relationship negatively. Moreover, you have no control over the development of your attachment style. Still, there is something that you can do to cope with this such as:
1. Have open communication with your partner
Talking directly with your partner about your fears, traumas, and insecurities can help your partner understand you better and will also strengthen your bond. This way your partner knows why you behave a certain way and what can trigger you.
2. Know your worth
Most people with such an attachment style have low self-esteem. Thus, it is important to realize your worth and believe in self-love. If you know your worth and value yourself only then your partner will value you.
3. Maintain Healthy Boundaries
The major issue with having a fearful avoidant attachment style is that they struggle in setting boundaries. So, if you want to have a healthy relationship it’s better to maintain boundaries. This can save your relationship in the longer run. This will also ensure that your partner doesn’t trigger you and that they know how to treat you.
Just like the anxious preoccupied attachment style, this issue can lead a toll on one’s emotional well-being. Hence, it is necessary for a person to address it at the earliest by taking the necessary measures.
I hope this insightful guide on fearful avoidant attachment has helped you in gaining vital information on this subject. So, if you or your acquaintance suffers from this psychological issue, it is high time to seek medical help.
Only then, it will become possible to build healthy relationships and attain strong emotional well-being.